UPDATE
After discussions, I now feel free to slander without reference to accuracy. So I shall. In tomorrow’s column. I apologise for the conceit, but I wanted to feign indignation before matters had been resolved. I had to be churlish with my employer and to my readers, and I apologise if you think I’ve had the balance wrong over the past 10 years.
Thank you to everyone who has telegraphed, rung, faxed, offered their children or commented on this post, here and on radio.